Leaves

At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness.
So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.
Genesis 3:7

There’s something hauntingly human about the way Adam and Eve responded to their failure. The moment their eyes were opened, they realized the precious innocence, security and nearness that they had lost, and their first instinct was to hide. Not just behind trees but behind whatever they could grab with trembling hands. 

Fig leaves.

It sounds primitive until we realize we do the same thing only our leaves look different. We hide behind productivity, hoping that if we stay busy enough, we won’t feel our lack. We hide behind performance, trying to earn worth we were meant to simply receive. We even hide behind “doing good things” like serving, leading and ministering all while quietly avoiding the intimacy of being known.

Some of us wear smiles as our fig leaves. Others use silence. Some lace their hiding with humor or hustle, but if we’re honest, we’re all just trying to cover what feels too raw to reveal.

I think of the times in the past that I’ve shown up to pray, not because I wanted to be with God, but because I didn’t want Him to be disappointed in me. The times I said “I’m fine” with a practiced tone, hoping no one would ask again. The times I avoided stillness because I was afraid of what I’d hear in the quiet.

The leaf doesn’t always feel like shame. Sometimes we are deceived into it feeling like strength. Yet anything we’re hiding behind is still a fig leaf, but God doesn’t ask for our coverings. He asks for us. In Genesis 3, His first words after their rebellion are not, “What have you done?” but “Where are you?” What a question.

He already knows the answer, but He wants them to say it. He wants them to come out from behind the trees, and He wants the same from us. God is not shocked by our fear or intimidated by our failure. He isn’t ashamed of our nakedness. 

And so I’ve been asking myself lately: What leaves have I picked up to hide behind? What am I using to feel safe, acceptable and unexposed?

Have I confused productivity with purpose? Have I mistaken control for peace? Have I used good things to avoid deeper things? Whatever we’re using to cover ourselves, it’s not enough. It was never meant to be.

The beauty of the Gospel is not that we figured out how to fix what we broke, but that God Himself stepped in to cover us. He made a better covering of mercy that cost Him. He clothed us with grace. He clothed us in peace.

Today, may we take an honest look and answer the question: What fig leaf have you picked up to hide behind lately?

Name it.
Drop it.
Let it fall.

The Father who loves us deeply, the Savior who willingly sacrificed Himself for us and the Spirit who is comfort and counsel still comes looking in the cool of the day, asking the question that brings us out of hiding: “Where are you?” There’s no need to hide, rather MAKE ROOM for Him. He is the treasure. He is the prize.